SQUIDIOLICIOUS

6 days.

and bummer that i have no motivation to speak of to continue my work right now.
went to school without sleep and seriously i know it was all half fucked.
and giving time constraint as an excuse is just lame.
so here i lay in all honesty. i suck.
at design and whatever it is i claim to do.
i just want to grad.
i dunno if it is fatigue, exhaustion, exasperation and my jaded mind and soul speaking.
but i really don't believe in myself anymore.
i feel like i have no more face value.
like all this mad rush has blanketed the passion and fun to create.
i don't like this one bit and it will show.
and after i grad, which i hope i eventually will i will hide away from the arts world.
its embarrassing.

i have no more positivity left within me to claim that i am any better than a 4 year old.
in fact i just wanna lie in my bed and cry at how miserable and ugly i am.

all this time i figured, hey.. i have nothing to lose..
when in actual fact i do. i am losing myself.

so be disappointed.
so be appalled.

compliments they don't mean jack anymore.
and criticisms I'm very much accustomed to.

deem me weak. i have no pride.
deem me frail. i am already broken.